Issues:NWZ
by lbindner
Summary: Even Zorro has issues.


Issues

by that bandit in black known as Zorro

The topics I'm mentioning here have simply been on my mind lately. I may end up using this 'worry-log' as an anonymous written Confession I can leave later for Padre Benitez. Or, I may end up developing some of what I mention here for future issues of _The Guardian_.

Now that I've got that disclaimer out of the way, I'll start talking. Forgive me if I ramble a bit; these issues are just thoughts that come to me while riding on Toronado, especially at night. Worrisome things tend to overwhelm a person's mind at night.

Now for what's on my mind. Where to begin…

Pueblo de Los Angeles has been the site of several hangings in recent months. There have been four this month alone. I recognize many who are hung, most of them bandits I've caught… two or three times if they're named Lopez. So I guess you could say that I'm partly responsible for their deaths. It's well known by now that I prize life, even the lives of bandits, especially since I'm one myself. So this idea always weighs heavily on my mind.

I know that these people actively chose to become outlaws, but my heart has to wonder if killing them is really the answer. It doesn't solve anything, doesn't change anything. They still perpetrated their crimes, their victims are still victims. So hanging them really doesn't do anything except end their life. And even though those particular bandits are gone, there are always others who are more than happy to take their place. Finally those bandits are also caught and possibly hung too, but wait… there's more! The circle of criminality starts again. And on and on it goes.

I guess the question of 'to hang or not to hang' depends on what crime those bandits chose to commit. There is the chance that they've committed theft, or robbery, or caused mayhem. Then I'm sure they shouldn't be hanged, but rather jailed. But there is also the chance they've committed some kind of personal attack, or even murder. If they're caught, then they're fated to hang, end of story. Many people would say they deserve their fate. But do they?

This is when things get really hazy. I know that none of my loved ones have ever been attacked or murdered before. I'm sure I would feel differently if that were ever the case. Or at least I think I would. I guess one never knows how one will react until that moment. I do know I don't ever want to find out. I also know that I may not have a choice in the matter.

Take for instance if Victoria is ever attacked. She runs a tavern, after all, a stopping place for strangers on the road to somewhere else, a public inn that's known to cater to people from all walks of life, men in particular, all from high or low birth, good and bad behaviour. She serves drinks that are often alcoholic… and I know what alcohol does to the mind. She has money in her establishment that she keeps overnight. Not much money, but not much is a lot when you don't have any, as most bandits are poor. Not to mention she's a single woman in what is often a man's position, and she has no family to speak of in Los Angeles to protect her. In short, she's easy prey. I worry that some stranger from the stage will someday take their overnight enjoyment of the tavern owner before robbing her blind. Or some bandit will accost her when she isn't expecting it. Worse yet, my nightmares of these scenarios always have me at the other end of the territory, and I'm unable to intervene on her behalf. I live in fear of this actually happening someday.

If something horrible ever does happen to her… again, then I'm sure I would be happy to see the perpetrator caught and hung. I might even do the catching. I'd let our new Alcalde do the hanging, but I'd certainly be there to make sure it happened.

But is this justice? Or revenge.

Would I care?

The main point is that this person's death by hanging wouldn't erase what they'd done. They would still have a victim.

But if they don't hang, then what happens to them? Do they go to jail for life? What if they live to be 100 years old? Who supports those who are jailed for life? Are they supported by taxes taken from everybody? By California? By Spain?

And what if they escape? A murderer is still a murderer even if they've been jailed for thirty years. There's every chance they will murder again if given the opportunity. They're still a danger to innocents. It isn't right for that to happen either.

Maybe there's a third option in this mess. But if there is, I haven't thought of it yet.

On a different subject, I want to talk about bounty hunters, people hunting me for the bounty on my head in particular. I haven't encountered many personal bounty hunters yet, only three or four over the years, but I have to expect that number to increase in the future. The price on my head is now 6000 pesos, a king's ransom. The residents of Los Angeles may not have any interest in collecting it, since it's them I protect on any given day, but career bounty hunters… people from other parts of California, from Mexico, from Spain, from America, even from England… the people who will only benefit from collecting the reward for my capture are the ones that worry me.

No, that's not entirely true. I have always been able to handle those bounty hunters who work alone because they want to keep the entire 6000 peso prize for themselves. People like our former Alcalde. Their greed turns them from hunters into the hunted more often than nought. What I worry about is the possibility that someday in the future several bounty hunters will finally realize that only by banding together do they have any hope of capturing Zorro. Splitting the prize among themselves is a better way of garnering at least some of the reward money. It's better to get some money out of their hard work than getting none. I can fight several men at once, but some of those bounty hunters are quite good at what they do. If fifteen or twenty of them work together, then my chances of coming out of such a fight uncaptured are negligible. I know that Zorro has always shown a knack for escape, but I'm also not sure I want to count on that. It would be better by far not to get drawn into a face-off with twenty bounty hunters in the first place. Therefore I need to remain constantly vigilant. Zorro has a fierce reputation as of now, especially as a fencer, but also as a general fighter, with or without weapons. But I'm not sure if that's enough to rely on any longer. My future opponents can only improve. Of course, as most of my opponents are truly deplorable, maybe I don't need to worry at all. Then again, only a fool trusts entirely to Providence.

On yet another subject, I don't know what to think of our new Alcalde. He's… different. I never worried about Victoria so much when Ramone was Alcalde. He just wanted money and all the power and prestige he was sure that comes with it. Hurting her wasn't conducive to him extorting money from her, so I generally wasn't worried about the fact the Alcalde's office is only across the plaza from the tavern.

But this new Alcalde… he's not like Ramone. He's more consumed with returning to Spain a hero. If capturing Zorro will do that, and he thinks it will, then he'll do whatever it takes to achieve that end. That includes terrorizing Victoria just to get to me. He's already done it. I have no reason not to think he'll do it again. I wish I could marry her and take her away to safety, but something tells me Victoria wouldn't like that at all… the being taken to safety part, not the marrying part. It doesn't matter, because I can't marry her now anyway. She can't know who I am, and a marriage rather circumvents the whole secret identity thing, though I'm sure she'd be thrilled.

Protecting her is what thrills me.

I also worry that the men I released at Devil's Fortress will come back to haunt me someday. Or haunt others first, then haunt me next. Releasing them en masse seemed like a good idea at the time…

Or all the bandits I've caught over the years who aren't hung… what if they escape their incarceration and come back to Los Angeles seeking revenge? Then no one who has supported me in the past is safe… and that's just about everybody.

This essay has taken several days to write. Every time I try to end it, I think of something more I want to mention. I had no idea I was such a worrier.

But there's no doubt that Zorro clearly has issues, maybe more than some, certainly different than most. What I wouldn't do to have more common worries. On the other hand, wouldn't life be boring then?

Being bored is highly undervalued.


End file.
